The Expiration Date

“What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore—

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over—

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode”

LANGSTON HUGHES

OK- I don’t know about you, but that poem is powerful… but disgusting. But that is how we should feel about our dreams that we have let defer isn’t it? Bankruptcy of the soul. That should feel disgusting.

So. To keep consistent with my promise, to be authentic, do me a solid real quick. Go and check out when I first created this blog. Yep girl. 2016. Then, silence. Silence. I let that dream of writing, that dream of getting my thoughts out into the world rot. It died, for nearly three years. For the fear of rejection and what people thought. That dream died. I let that piece of myself die. So hear me- you are not alone.

But I cannot help but wonder- who could I be now? What if I did not let the fear of rejection dictate what I wanted for my own life? What a disservice I have been to who I am and my dreams for myself. How many more stories could have been here on this blog? How many lives touched by things I left unsaid about pain, laughter, self-love, trial, and dreams. I let what I wanted die because I was afraid of what other people would think? How ridiculous is that. In reality. Look at it. Stifling and purging my own dreams to please others, to stay in the box I was put in. The blonde retired cheerleader married to that guy in finance. Never again. I have a mind, and dreams. Huge, outrageous dreams that contradict who people see me to be. Their opinions, are not my problem. Not living up to my potential. Dang. That. That is the problem!

Let me ask you, how far along could you be by now, if you did not continuously start and stop again? If you did not base yourself off what other people’s opinions were? Feeling down on yourself? There’s good news babe. Dreams. Do. Not. Expire.

Do you ever find yourself wondering as you enter into a new goal, will I make it? Well- spoil alert. No one knows except you and God sister. You choose. You have to choose to keep pursuing what you sought out for. Whether that makes you the hipster who blogs, or the girl wants to work out more, and get gun show arms. But listen, when those things are no longer ‘cool, sexy, or the trending thing’ you have to choose to dig your feet in and stand your ground. Tenacity. Do not move. If your dreams were good enough to get you inspired, you owe yourself the respect and dignity to see that dream through.

Hear me well mama- those babies are watching you. They see you. You decide. You teach them what to do in times of adversity. And whether or not you think you giving up on yourself time and time again affects them, it does. You are teaching them that when things get hard we give up. Mommy does not love herself or respect herself enough to fight for what she wants or who she dreams she could be. That last line made me sick to my stomach. But, that is the message we are sending. Who you want to be should be your top priority. You want to love your spouse well, you want to love your kids well, honey, you need to love yourself well. So are you going to push through- or are you going to back down. There are eyes watching you- so who do you want to be? God did not put air in your lungs again today for you to let your dream defer again. Your. Life. Is. Passing. You. by. Your life is today. Play with your kids. Kiss your spouse. Apply for the position. Wear the oversized sunglasses everyone hates on you. Rise up. It is the journey not the destination hun. Fight for what you want because a better version of you means a better version you can give to the people you love. Don’t waste today.

And you know I love you

P