True or False

I struggle with insecurities. True. I struggle and force myself to be reminded every day that my dreams are achievable- I am worthy. I get to choose if I am successful. I choose if I get to have an even better life than I have now. True. I have struggled at times with putting my thoughts, ideas, and material out on my blog in fears that it will not resonate the way some people need it to. True. I have been writing for leisure since the second grade. True. I have had this dream to write for over twenty years now- These things, yes. Yes. They are all true. IF I am claiming this to be a place of authenticity then you should know what goes through my mind. What I struggle with, and my solution for those things.

Pres- People do not want to hear what you have to say. Pres, you are grammatically incorrect in the way you write. P, keep your words safe- keep them hidden. Lie. False. I struggle you guys. I do. Do you want to know the hilarious part of this? I have not gotten anything other than praise and love from my followers about the content they find here on reborn ragamuffin. So what does that tell me? 1. Well- as we know, not everyone likes peaches (see ‘the peach’) so criticism will come, and that is ok! 2. If I am not getting it externally- I am feeding myself these doubts. These lies. When I struggle to see where I am headed, what has meaning, what has truth, I seek truth.

Father, Daddy, Lord. Who do you say I am? Remind me why you gave me this gift. Should I hide my words, I am insufficient? Am I under-qualified to love other people through this channel? What does God say? What are His priorities for us? P.S- if you are not familiar with this God thing, totally cool. You are more than welcome here. But here is what He (God) tells me. This is what I know to be true. He says- Sis. Love me- Love people. K, cool Lord. So… these thoughts. I should shut up- I should be timid? FALSE. Who am I Lord? What do you want this blog to be? What do your followers, the woman, mothers, girls who you claim? What do they need? Use me as a vessel God.

Now that- that sounds more like the God I know. “The Godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray.” Proverbs 11:26 OK, ya. That seems to be a little more truthful. So I continue to seek. God. What do you want this to be? Ok cool “A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body- jealousy is like cancer to the bones” Proverbs 14:30. So… what are we doing here God? We are striving to empower women to love others (their friends, children, husbands). We are teaching them to love themselves (your children), we are teaching them to serve and love you. We all good here? So what this tells me about all of my insecurities is that they are false. Straight from the enemy. Not truth. Seek truth. Who does God say I am? So I want to make sure that I am open and am forthcoming with my full intentions on this blog that we have produced here. I fully intend to keep writing- even when there are crickets, critiques, and anything in between because without a doubt, My God lead me to this point. True. I am giving any and all fruit from this full credit to my creator. But I also want to make clear- all are welcome here. Agnostic, Jewish, Atheist, Buddhist, Pastafarians (yes it is real)- this is for you. And I love you. Lord- this blog is yours. Start talking- “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit” John 15:5.

So I urge you- when insecurities push their way into your minds- seek your lighthouse. Seek truth. Physically write down your fears, your insecurities, you will be surprised at how untrue they are once you get them down. Acknowledge them, seek truth, and let them go. When we expose the root of the weed to the sunlight, the weed dies (Thanks Daddy). Expose your lies and claim them out loud. I felt insecure about writing a post today and I feel empowered and uplifted. Expose it. Seek Truth. Are we capable and loved beyond measure. True.

PK